Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
