I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
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