is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
I just blew my weed a kiss
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
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