He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
