Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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