I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
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Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
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I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
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