oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
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