i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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