Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
