she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
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