im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
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