Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Randomize
