wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Randomize