So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
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My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
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There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store