problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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