i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
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