You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Houston, we have a squirter
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
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