Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
