no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
Randomize
