We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
