Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
