we have officially lost it.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Randomize
