i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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