i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
