Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize
