recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
Randomize
