And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Randomize
