it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
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my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
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I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
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