worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
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