I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there