conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
this boner is exhausting
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
