When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
Houston, we have a blender
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Randomize
