absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
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