i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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