is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
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