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• (757): View more from Virginia

  im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?

  (804): View more from Virginia

  who says it cant be both...

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• (646): View more from New York

  I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night

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• (863): View more from Florida

  fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"

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• (705): View more from Ontario

  I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?

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• 

  23 Parents Gave Awful Advice about “The Birds and the Bees”

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (715): View more from Wisconsin

  He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom

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• (609): View more from New Jersey

  We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.

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• (330): View more from Ohio

  Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.

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• (971): View more from Oregon

  you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying

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• (515): View more from Iowa

  My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."

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  These 19 Deaths Are Ironically Hilarious

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?

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• (508): View more from Massachusetts

  I can give you five reasons its your baby

  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.

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• (650): View more from California

  I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.

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• (702): View more from Nevada

  all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral

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• (773): View more from Illinois

  And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive

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• (856): View more from New Jersey

  i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream

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