Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
That accounts for only three of the penises
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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