Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize
