we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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