i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
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