so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Randomize
