I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
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