Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
Sober January is a disaster.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
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