My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
