Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Randomize
