you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Randomize
