Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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