Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Randomize
