So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
