Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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