I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
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