I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize
