he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
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