I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
There's always time for handjobs
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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