i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Randomize