I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
I'm really busy with my period
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