she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
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