Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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