btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
