Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
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