When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
